Femio's Secret Diary
by OuranHero
Summary: Femio has a crush on someone. The only way to find out who it is? Read Femio's diary, of course!
1. Mission Start!

Dear Readers,

Someone told me Femio and some girl are together. Is it Rue? Or could it be Duck? Or maybe even Pike or Lillie? Or even perhaps Mytho, or Fakir?

This is my goal. I will expose who Femio is in love with by posting his diary entries online. Some of the earlier ones are boring, but believe me, they get juicier.

Mission, start!


	2. Ah, Gold Crown Town!

Dear Diary,

Today I arrived in Gold Crown Town. It is very beautiful. The only thing more beautiful than the scenery are the women, and the only thing more beautiful than them is me.

I had spagetti for lunch. It was good.

I saw a lovely (but slightly weird looking) young lady today. She didn't believe that I was a prince! The nerve! Of course I'm a prince. I'm pretty enough, right? Yes, diary, I knew you would agree with me.

Oh, I must be going now. It's my bed time. I promise I'll write again soon, diary, so please don't weep!


	3. The Difficult Life of a Prince

Dear Diary,

Ah, how the girls swoon as I walk by! They hide in corners as I walk by. They must love me so!

Mr. Cat is such a mean teacher! If I were a female, I definitely wouldn't want to marry him, even though I told him otherwise in class the other day. Of course, if he were female, he would want to marry me.

I cannot marry, however. I cannot give my love to one girl alone! I mustn't! Never... though I do wish to get married someday. No, I can't!

Ah, the life of a prince is a difficult one!


	4. Lovely Girls

Dear Diary,

That blonde haired twin-tail girl is scary! And so is the dark haired one!

My assistant just informed me that their names are Lillie and Rue. And the ones who always hang around Lillie are Duck, the red-head, and Pike, the one with weird purple hair.

It's strange. I met a girl, I don't remember her name, but she was an anteater! I've never seen talkng animals before coming here!

While I'm talking about girls, Rue told me she hated me, and then told me I was wonderful. Were my sinful good looks enough to change her mind?

Rue is very pretty, and that Duck girl is kind of cute. Oh, no, am I picking out girls? I can't just give my love to a few handpicked girls!

Oh, excuse me, diary. I must go dance.


	5. I'm Not Gay!

Dear Diary,

Today, the most dreadful thing happened! When I was dancing, and it was a beautiful dance, that white haired boy mimed love to me, and then passed out!

Oh. I have just been informed that his name is Mytho. I really should get better with names!

Well, the problem is that now, everyone thinks I'm gay! I'm not gay! I will give my love to everyone, boys and girls!

Wait. That made me sound bisexual. Oh, well. It's not like anyone will read my diary.

Farewell, diary! I know you don't think I'm gay!


	6. Woof!

Dear Diary,

Woof~!

I got myself a new puppy today! I love her so much! I named her Antoinette. Isn't it a beautiful name?

She's so pretty! But that Fakir says it's stupid to get a dog. So I told him he was stupid, and he flipped me off! The nerve!

If I was back home, I would have him beheaded for his rudeness towards a prince! And, of course, my beloved Antoinette.

... Oh. Excuse me, diary. I need to clean something up. Again.


	7. Freinds

Dear Diary,

I got a letter from a girl who wanted to confess her love to me. I told this to my friend, Duck. She said the most rude thing! She asked me "Who would fall in love with you?"

To prove her wrong, I went to the place where the maiden was waiting. There she was. She had weird blue hair, but I suppose it wasn't weird around here. She began to confess, and...

She just wanted to pet Antoinette. I almost cried! I told this to Duck later, expecting her to laugh. Thankfully, she didn't laugh. She acually looked sorry for me! Ah, yes, Duck is my best friend.

Wait, I'm my best friend. Duck can be my second best freind. Or third, if you include Antoinette...


	8. More Friends

Dear Diary,

I have started to hang out with Mytho more often. Have his eyes always been red? Maybe I just don't pay very much attention to my friends.

I have forgiven him for making people think I'm gay. He thanked me and proceeded to ask me about Rue. I told him I would rather not, and he backed off. I noticed he was smirking, though.

I havn't even told you about it, diary. I'm sorry, but I'd rather not talk about it.

I'm starting to like these people. Of course, Rue's hard to understand. Fakir's an ass, pardon my language. Mytho is acting evil, and Duck is being a good friend. Pike and Lillie scare me, so I haven't spoken to them much...

Maybe I should.


	9. Mean Friends(?)

Dear Diary,

Duck is so mean! She's just jealous because she's not as pretty as I. No, I shouldn't say that about a friend.

The school's food is terrible! The pasta tastes like someone cut cardboard into strips and covered it in melted plastic!

So I've asked my assistant to make my lunch for me. Now I enjoy good food every day.

I've become comfortable in Gold Crown Town. I'm happy now. But Fakir's mean. And so is Duck. Wait, haven't I already mentioned that?

Oh, well. I just hope Fakir stops bullying me.


	10. Meanie Fakir

Dear Diary,

Today, Fakir called me stupid. So I told him his face was stupid. He just laughed at me. And then flipped me off.

Later, Duck laughed at me. She told me I needed to learn a lot about comebacks and insults, not that I know what those are.

So I have been talking to the scary girls. All three of them. Rue, Pike, and Lillie. I'll tell you how it goes...


	11. Hey, Guys!

Dear Readers,

So, hey! I have a poll, please go answer it! If you answer it, you will be helping me a bunch!

I'm pretty sure you'll find the poll on my page. So, please?

Wow, this fanfic is going by fast. Don't worry, though, I don't plan on ending it anytime soon. There's some juicy stuff in here!


	12. New Girl

Dear Diary,

So, I met this girl. Her name is OuranHero. Something about her creeps me out, like she isn't supposed to be here or something.

Read the first sentence! I didn't know I was beginning to speak like that.

Well, Duck says she's from some town called "Fanfiction". I've never heard of such a place!

Oh, I need to go play with my darling Antoinette now.


	13. I'm Popular

Dear Diary,

I have befriended OuranHero. She's very rude! But she's also very pretty. Not as pretty as me, of course.

I have also befriended Pike and Lillie. They're still scary, and they talk about Fakir all the time. I've noticed a change in him. He's nicer now, and when he looks at Duck, his face softens. Could this be romance?

Will I ever have romance? I'm starting to think that even though I'm a prince, I should be allowed to fall in love. Is that too selfish?

While I'm on the subject (or was on the subject), I'm trying to befriend Rue. She clings to Mytho, though, and I don't think he likes me very much. Of course, Fakir doesn't like me either. But he's warming up to me.

Oh, my. I'm going to need to rest my hand for a while, diary. I've never written this much before.


	14. Rumors

Dear Diary,

Rumors have started. About me and Duck. About me and OuranHero. And about me and Mytho.

Worst of all, there are rumors about me and Fakir.

When he found out about them, he tried to punch me in the gut. The nerve of these people! Thankfully, Duck told him not to. He's become very obedient lately, like he's her little puppy.

If Fakir ever found out that I just wrote that, I would never write another diary entry again. Because I'd be dead.

Lillie and I have become quite good friends, though she scares me a little. Why am I only making friends with the mean ones? Pike hates me for some reason.

Well, goodbye, diary.


	15. Making Up

Dear Diary,

I have discovered why Pike hated me. She thought I was dating "her Fakir." Of course I'm not! When I told her this, she calmed down and told me she would be my friend.

Does that mean people still think I'm gay? That Mytho sure has caused me a lot of trouble! And so has Rue!

She keeps on trying to talk to me, and then she just walks away. I was telling her about how Antoinette and I were playing, and OuranHero came by and almost tripped over her! Then, in the middle of my story, she walked away. The people in this town are rude.

Speaking of rude people, Fakir's being nicer to me. Sure, he's still pretty mean, but not as mean as before.

I've noticed I'm writing more in these entries. Is that a good thing?


	16. Fitting In

Dear Diary,

I have started to spend more time with Lillie lately. We've become quite good friends. I have discovered that she's not as scary as I thought she was, but she's a very dedicated fangirl.

I have also been talking to OuranHero more. She said something about a poll the people of Fanfiction needed to answer? She said it was on her page, and it would help determine my fate, whatever that means...

Well, Duck and Fakir have started to spend more time together, and when Fakir's not with Duck, he's at the library. What exactly is going on with those two? I presume it's too soon to draw conclusions about them.

I seem to remember something about Rue. But the thing is that, in my memory, she's dressed in some scandalous outfit that doesn't look like it can stay up on it's own. Why can't I remember what happened?


	17. Deep Sorrow

Dear Diary,

The weirdest thing happened today. A whole herd of bulls tried to kill me! I almost died! When I asked who sent them, my assistant raised his hand. I was crushed!

So, I had to order him away. I'm very sad now, diary. So, so sad. Who's going to pack my lunch now?!

Oh, here comes Lillie. It looks like she's stalking Fakir with Pike, again. Fakir's going inside the library, like normal. I wonder if I have any stalkers. Oh, l what am I writing? Of course I have stalkers!

So, I'm all cheered up now. Thank you, diary. And Antoinette, because she licked my hand just now.


	18. Hope!

Dear Diary,

I've gotten a new assistant! You'll never guess who it is! It's OuranHero. She tells me gossip, and she's great at making spaghetti! (This is how I was able to get this diary. Because I live with him. - OuranHero)

She told me that Duck glanced up at Fakir's window and saw him in his boxers! Yes, I'm sure OuranHero will make a fine assistant. And the fact that she's my friend makes it even better! I never knew having friends was so much fun.

Duck is also talking to me more often now that Fakir's going to the library non-stop. Duck also has a little girl with her named Uzura. She creeps me out. Not as much as that Miss Edel used to, but still.


	19. Best Day Ever

Dear Diary,

I was recently informed by Mr. Cat that I have improved on my dancing. In order to celebrate this momentous occasion, OuranHero baked me a cake. It was chocolate with chocolate icing and the words "Congrats, Femio!" were written on the cake with MnMs.

But that's not all. OuranHero also invited all of my friends to celebrate too! I was so happy! My old assistant never would've done this for me.

I was so happy in fact that I hugged OuranHero and everyone there. I've never really had friends before...

I was later informed by OuranHero that when I hugged Lillie, she blushed. What does that mean? She was wiggling her eyebrows when she told me.

If this is how OuranHero celebrates improving on my dancing, I can't wait to see what she does for my birthday!

_Wow. I didn't know it moved him this much. I just like to party._


	20. Oh Dear, Master Femio!

Oh, my!

Is this master Femio's diary?! Wow, it was just lying on the bed, all out in the open...

I swear, I was just cleaning your room, Master Femio. I had no intention of finding this. Though I've found it a few other times. I've never read it, though, Master Femio! I swear! Your room was a mess, by the way. I don't mean to be rude, but try to keep it cleaner, hm?

Why am I writing in this, Master Femio? I wish to tell you that you really shouldn't leave your diary out in the open, Master Femio. What if it wasn't me that found it? Just imagine if it had been OuranHero... she would put it all over the internet or something! (_Ha ha.)  
_

That would be horrible. Please be more careful where you leave this from now on. I'll put it back where it normally goes.

Although I don't know what she would be doing in your room. That's not her job. Or is it? What exactly is her job, other than making you pasta?

- Mary, the maid.


	21. Oh God!

Dear Diary,

How embarrasing! At least it was Mary and not OuranHero... She's my friend, but she's not the nicest person in the world.

That was mortifying, finding my diary in a weird place and finding out someone read it! Well, hopefully she didn't. Maybe she just wrote in it, and didn't read it.

I'll make sure to change where I hide it. And I'll make sure no one will ever find it.

This is completely off topic, but Father wrote me a letter! He hasn't written me a letter since... well, he's never written me a letter. He told me about the politics back at home, and how I might have to go back and help him.

I don't want to go back. I have so many great friends now. And...

Well, I won't write it now. I'm not even sure about it myself. I just don't want to leave my precious friends. And OuranHero would have to leave, too. I don't think she would want that, either. Do you think Father will give me a choice?


	22. I Don't Want to Leave Yet

Dear Diary,

Lillie blushes a lot now. She doesn't talk to me much, either. What does that mean?

Antoinette tried to eat Fakir when he came to my house. I stopped her, but I did wonder what he was doing. When I asked him, he said he wanted me to watch Uzura. I told him I would not, for I am a prince! Of course, he flipped me off and walked away.

Why would he assume I would watch over her? I'm a prince! Why doesn't anyone believe me? Well, OuranHero does. But that's just because we pay her a lot.

It might be a while before Father makes me go home. I'm happy he wants me to go back, but it's not like he misses me. Mother misses me, and so does the rest of the kingdom, but I know better than to assume Father misses me.

If I left, everyone in Gold Crown Town would surely miss me, right? I'm delightful.


	23. A Strange Hetalian

Dear Diary,

Today, OuranHero and I went out to invite Pike, Lillie, and Duck to dinner. On the way, I saw a strange man who was singing about pasta. I remember that he had brown hair with a curl sticking out, and his eyes were closed.

When we got close to him, OuranHero noticed him. "Feliciano!" she had shouted.

"Ciao!" The man sang. He had an Italian accent. I really wanted to talk to him, but OuranHero was talking to him.

"Ita, this isn't a crossover fanfic." she said. I don't know what a "Fanfic" is, nor do I know what a crossover is.

"But I heard you were making pasta for someone other than me." Feliciano whined. Or was his name Ita? Anyway, he grabbed onto her and wouldn't let go.

"Why don't you have dinner with us?" sighed OuranHero. So she invited Feliciano/Ita for dinner, along with Pike, Lillie, and Duck. It was quite a feast. And, I made a new friend.

But later, he left. I asked where he lived, and OuranHero said he lived in Hetalia. Where's that?


	24. Drunk People Are Dangerous!

Dear Diary,

So, I went to my favorite restaurant, El Pasta. OuranHero got tired of making it for me. And this weird guy just headbutted me!

I asked him why he did it. It turned out he was drunk. I didn't know wine could get you drunk, but I suppose it can.

Then, Mytho and Rue came by, probably on a date. The man was freaking out, and he was running around shouting something about how he didn't want the potato man to kill his pet rocks. The man was completely bonkers.

Mytho just stared at the guy, and he passed out. It was really weird.

Speaking of weird, Uzura asked me what yaoi is. I didn't know, so I asked Lillie. She told me, but she was blushing the whole time. When she was done, I saw why she was blushing. So I just didn't tell Uzura what it was.


	25. Stupid Femio

Dear Diary,

Today, Lillie asked me if I wanted to see a movie with her. I told her I could not, for I needed to get Antoinette groomed. She looked really sad when she walked away. I wonder why?

I mean, of course she's sad she didn't get to spend time with me. Who wouldn't be? But, as I always say, it is a sin to give my love to only one girl.

Although, I kind of wanted to say yes. But I knew Father would disapprove of it, so I declined. And Antoinette is filthy!

_So I guess Femio's an idiot, huh? Heh, I think it's catching up to modern day. Who do you think Femio's in love with? My bet's on myself. I am gorgeous, after all. No wonder Femio and I are friends!_


	26. Moron!

Dear Femio,

Whoa! You left your diary in class and Mr. Cat told me to return it to you. I don't like you, so I read it. Man, you're an idiot! I saw this has happened before, moron. Your maid's nice. I've been informed by you a thousand times that I'm not nice.

And, my boxers? And Duck told OuranHero? I don't like that girl. She's really weird. And OuranHero told you? I don't know which one of you I should punch. And I am not a puppy!

OuranHero's just like you, in a way. She's like the smarter female version of you. No wonder you two get along. I would have killed her a long time ago if she wasn't Duck's friend. But not just Duck's! Uzura likes her too! Ah, whatever.

Don't leave your diary lying around, moron.

- Fakir


	27. Not Again!

Dear Diary,

I did it again! I left you out and Fakir read you. And he wrote in you! He didn't write very nice things, either. I'm so stupid! Sorry, diary. I'll try not to do this again.

Mary scolded me. She found out somehow. I really am an idiot!

Antoinette is all sparkly and clean now. She's very pretty. As soon as we got home, she tried to roll around in the mud. I stopped her in time. Now she's sitting on the floor and pouting. I feel bad, but I spent a lot of money on that grooming!

Now I just have to hope Fakir doesn't try to kill me next time I see him. Hopefully, he'll just call me a moron and flip me off or something. Hopefully. And, one more thing. I feel like Fakir was a little self conscious when he wrote about Duck. Could that mean...?

I'm not writing it, just in case.


	28. I'm Sad

Dear Diary,

Father wrote me again. He said I would definitely go back. I don't want to go, but I can't tell him that! He also said he had found me a bride. He says she's pretty and very polite. She's the daughter of a neighboring kingdom. He also says Mother isn't doing well.

First of all, it isn't like Father to write that much. He might've gotten a servant to do it. That makes me sad, but it sounds like something my Father would do. It's highly unlikely that my Father suddenly grew a heart.

Second, I don't want to get married. It goes against everything he's taught me. Why would he teach me that it's selfish to want only one girl to love, but then go and try to marry me off? I know it's for the good of the kingdom, but I'm fairly certain that... Well, there's a girl, and now I'm starting to think that what I feel for her is... Love. Crazy, right? I know it's for the good of the kingdom, but I just don't want to.

But I can't tell him that. He would disown me, or hire someone to drag me back. I wonder if there's anything I can do to stay here.

_I remember that letter. It came in yesterday. He does have a crush on someone, but I guess it doesn't say who. Well, I'll just put this back and wait for him to write more. I'm sure he'll write about Thanksgiving!_


	29. Happy Thanksgiving! (Or Whatever!)

Dear Diary,

Thanksgiving was _meraviglioso! _Feliciano taught me to say that. I'm calling him Feliciano, even though OuranHero calls him Ita. We had everyone over, even Fakir! And he didn't punch me! You know, diary, Thanksgiving is one of the only times I don't eat pasta. And Feliciano is the same!

Feliciano came over, along with two other guys. Their names were Ludwig and Kiku. OuranHero told them it wasn't a crossover, but they didn't listen. She also called them the Axis Boys.

We had a huge turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, baked beans, rolls, and corn. It was delicious! Ludwig said it was "_Wunderbar!_" I assume that means wonderful. We also had a really good pie!

I would not let my Father's letter get me down! Until I thought about not letting my Father's letter get me down. Then I got depressed.

After that, Feliciano taught me a whole lot of Italian while Ludwig taught OuranHero how to make good wurst. Kiku taught a lot of the others how to use a Japanese style sword. Then, everyone left. It was a pretty good day.


	30. Black Friday!

Dear Diary,

Sadly, tomorrow is the day OuranHero and I shall leave. It is fate, I'm afraid. I don't want to go, but I guess I'll have to.

On my first Black Friday, I was almost trampled by women looking for cheap stuff. There were some men there, too. I had just wanted more pasta...

I had also wanted a new bag to carry all my stuff in, but those lines were insane. I would have had to wait hours to get anything, so I didn't get anything.

Mary, on the other had, bought plenty of things. Is she Superman or something?


	31. Back Home

Dear Diary,

I've been really busy since arriving back home. I haven't really had time to write. My Mother was waiting at the palace doors to welcome me, but my Father was no where to be found. He was at a meeting with my future wive's Father. I got a welcome party, but it wasn't all that great.

I don't want to marry her. I really don't. I don't even know her name. Lately, I've been greeting the citizens and talking to the citizens of the neighboring town. I'll have to look up it's name.

I'm scheduled to meet her soon. I'm really nervous. OuranHero's been super busy, so she hasn't really had any time to talk...

I miss Gold Crown Town.


	32. This Sucks

Hey, Everyone!

Thanks for reading this far! Man, I really hate it here. It smells like chicken everywhere. I mean, that wouldn't be bad for short periods of time, but it's horrible. And I'm running around the palace, trying to get stuff done, and then I get all sweaty, and being sweaty isn't attractive, and I like being attractive.

So, in the begging, my mission was to find out who Femio loved. I still don't know that. But now, I'll get Femio's Father to like him, his wife to hate him (or something like that,) and I'll get him back to Gold Crown Town. So, yeah.

So, Femio's home is called Abha, and it's in Arabia. He doesn't look Arabian, does he? I'm not sure Abha should have Kings and princes...


	33. I Miss Home

Dear Diary,

Lately, OuranHero has been really busy. I've had to spend time with Kate, my bride-to-be. I don't like her very much. She's really boring, and she only talks about animals. It's really weird.

I've had to eat the food provided by the palace, since OuranHero won't give me the time of day. It's horrible. It has squid in the pasta! Squid! Do you realize how gross that is?

I've only seen my Father once since arriving. He's looking well, and so is Mother. He hasn't really spoken with me. I wonder if he would notice if I ran away?

Well, I'm not too lonely. They let me bring Antoinette with me. Kate adores her, but Antoinette hates her for some reason. I get to play with her a lot, but Kate always interrupts. I feel like I'm five when I tell her I want to play alone, and even more so when she starts pouting.

I miss Gold Crown Town.


	34. I'm A Depressing Person

Dear Diary,

I've had a private tutor since arriving here. He told me to write a story, so I will.

Once, there was a small boy. He had everything and anything he could ever want, but it wasn't enough. He wanted what other boys could have, that one thing he couldn't. He wanted the freedom to do whatever he wanted.

You see, he didn't really want all of the stuff his parents were giving him. He wasn't allowed to leave his palace and the large garden that came with it. He had already explored every inch of the palace, and inspected every piece of grass growing in the garden.

So one day he ran away. Beyond the palace, all he could see was a forest. He ran through the forest as fast as he could, but nothing changed. Then he realized that the palace was a safe haven, and that other boys would die to live in it.

Too bad he couldn't find his way back.

_Jeez, this is depressing. Is he seriously turning this in to his teacher? Well, whatever. Hopefully he cheers up when he sees what I've done for course he will, he cheers up every time he sees my face. It's probably because this place sucks the life and joy out of even Femio. And so does Kate.  
_


	35. Stop Me if You've Heard This One

Hello!

I know I've been talking to you guys a lot, but Femio's being really depressing. I don't know what's wrong with the guy. It must be Kate, she's horrible. So, I'm going to tell you guys some funny jokes. Enjoy!

Why did the mushroom go to the club? He was a fungi! Why did he leave? There wasn't mushroom.

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

How do you make a handkerchief dance? Put a little boogie in it.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the monkey.

What do you call a hundred rabbits marching backwards? A receding hare-line.

Why was Ms. Tomato red? Because she saw Mr. Green Pea.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Bwahahahaha! I hope you enjoyed these. Maybe now you'll be able to deal with Femio's stupid depression.


	36. No More Depression!

Dear Diary,

OuranHero did the most amazing thing! First of all, somehow, she got my Father to talk to me. Then, she got Kate to hate me by telling her I hated kittens. Well, I don't, but she doesn't know that.

She told me it was up to me to get my Father to let us go home. So, I asked him politely, telling him that now that Kate hates me, there was no purpose for my being here, and it would be a nuisance. I also said some other things that I'd rather not talk about.

He agreed that he didn't want to have to pay for a private tutor when there was no point in my being there, and that the school in Gold Crown Town was much cheaper. Soon, I will go back.

I'm so happy.

_I'm awesome. So, now I can get back to my mission. I'm so awesome._


	37. I'm So Happy!

Dear Diary,

It took quite a while, but I'm finally back in Gold Crown Town! I'm so happy! All of my friends threw me a party. Even Fakir! Though he told me I needed a haircut...

I didn't even care! I was just so happy. I had a really big cake and all of my friends hugged me! Except Fakir. I mean, even Mytho and Rue hugged me and I don't know them that well!

OuranHero seems relieved to be back as well. She ate most of the cake, but that's okay. I'm just really happy!

_I'm the greatest. So, am I dragging this out? You guys have to find out who Femio likes, but exactly how long do you think that will take? (If you know what I mean.) And after we find out, how long should I keep posting his diary entries?_


	38. Is She Lying?

Dear Diary,

I just peeked over OuranHero's shoulder while she was on her laptop. She visits some really weird sites. The one she was on when I looked was called FanFiction. It sounds a lot like the place she says she was from. You know, I get the feeling she's lying to me.

Well, Christmas is almost here! I'm so excited! I wonder what presents I'll get? I wonder what I should get for every one...

I'm not sure. Thankfully, I'm going shopping with Duck tomorrow. I'll look for Christmas gifts there.

_Femio said Christmas, but whatever you celebrate works too. And, gee wiz, it's almost been four months since I started posting Femio's diary online! Wowzers!_


	39. Christmas! Ho Ho Ho!

Dear Diary,

Oh, I haven't told you who I like, have I, diary? Well, I think I'll keep my secret a bit longer, just in case.

For Christmas, I got a lot of cool stuff. I got so much stuff, in fact, that I probably couldn't list everything here. Everyone liked the gifts I got them, too. Except Fakir, who threw it back in my face. And I thought he would like his present.

I gave him a framed and signed picture of me and Duck posing in front of a statue of a naked Greek man. I wonder why he didn't like it?

My Father sent me a present, and so did Kate. Father sent me a signed picture of himself and his pet elephant, Humphrey. Kate gave me a rather crude drawing of manly parts and a drawing of her middle finger, with a very long and angry note on the back about why kittens are the best.

Yeah... I had a rather eventful Christmas.


	40. Her Name Is

Dear Diary,

Oh! I just can't keep the secret anymore! I need to tell someone, and OuranHero would make fun of me! I can't tell the girl I like, because that would be embarrassing... And what if she doesn't like me back?!

Well, of course she does, (I'm gorgeous,) but still.

So! You're the only one I can turn to, diary. I just hope I don't leave you lying around after. Oh, I'll probably be more careful.

Alright! The girl I like is...

_Dum da da dum! I interrupt this dairy entry to tell you guys I just finished my extra credit homework for science class! So, I'll be able to update more often! (Or not, I'm super lazy.)_

_ It's like, "Maybe I should write that new chapter... Oh, wait! I still haven't finished my science work..."_

_ So! Aren't you, like, super happy? Or, what? And, for all of you saying "I love Hetalia!", I'll be writing "The Great Prussia's Diary" after this. And by "after this", I mean almost immediately after. I have nothing better to do than write Fanfiction and watch anime to write Fanfiction about. _

_ Oh, did you want to know who Femio likes? It's not me, so I didn't think it mattered. Oh, well. You'll have to wait until the next chapter!  
_


	41. What Just Happened?

Dear Diary, (?)

... Lillie! Oh, I'm blushing just writing about it!

I feel like I was just interrupted. Oh, well. It must have been my imagination.

_My apologies. I did not realize you guys wanted to know who he liked so much._

_ So! Happy New Year, I guess. I'm not staying up, I'm tired. I just spent the last few hours watching The Avengers with Femio. He wouldn't let me sleep until the movie was finished because he got scared. But Femio's really going at it, so I'm sure you'll hear about that soon. And thanks for the encouragement, guys!_

_Of course I'm not stopping at 41 chapters! But how much longer, I wonder...?  
_


	42. Sad News

Dear Diary,

Avenger's is a very intense movie! Scary!

I made OuranHero stay up with me. She went to bed right after, but I stayed up! Ha!

Also, OuranHero told me that she knew who I liked. I asked her how, and she said this: "You're so obvious! I bet she already knows and she's puking in the toilet. No, wait. Maybe she's in love with you too! Ha, just kidding. But seriously, tell her or she might fall in love with someone else. I hear she's a part of the Fakir Fan Club. I mean, so am I, but still."

Personally, I think she's jealous. I'm going to ask her for help, anyway.

On a completely different note, Duck, Rue, and Mytho have vanished. Now Fakir carries a duck around with him everywhere. He named her Ahiru. It makes me sad that they're gone, but I think Fakir's the saddest.

_I'm not jealous._


	43. I Have How Many Reviews?

What?!

Why do I have 97 reviews?! How? What just happened? Thanks, guys!

Well, I said I was going to do The Great Prussia's Diary, but now I'm not sure. So, do you guys have any ideas for what I should do next, diary-wise? And I keep spelling diary dairy. It's an easy mistake to make.

Also, I think you guys are awesome. So awesome, in fact, that I might use some of you in one of my chapters. You guys okay with that?

And I think fifty chapters is good.


	44. Sebastian Michaelis

Dear Diary,

Today, I met a man named Sebastian Michaelis. He's very handsome. Almost as handsome as me.

I get the feeling OuranHero dragged him here. He doesn't seem to want to be here, and he keeps talking about how he needs to get back to his "Young Master."

He says he's from England, so he thinks I'm unique. I think that was his way of telling me I was weird. He's from a town called Kuroshitsuji. He also keeps asking me if he can leave, but before I can answer OuranHero drags him away.

I think she has a crush on him.

_Of course I do! Who doesn't love Sebastian? I'm lucky I was able to drag him from Black Butler into Princess Tutu!_

_And my plan is working. Lillie is totally falling for Sebastian, and Femio's getting jealous! He'll confess soon.  
_


	45. FanGirls Are Scary!

Dear Diary,

I saw true fangirling today.

First of all, OuranHero brought her friend LauParisi over to play. She nearly had a heart attack when she saw Fakir and started to fangirl. LauParisi seemed really excited to meet Fakir. Fakir looked creeped out and, for some reason, a little flattered.

Then, of course, he flipped her off. LauParisi seems nice, huh?

Then a red-haired man named Grell came by and clung to his "Sebastian Darling." OuranHero would not stand for that, and they proceeded to fight over him. They ended up becoming best friends and are sitting in the room beside me talking. LauParisi is there too, but I think she has to go home soon.

I had an eventful day.

Well, tomorrow's the day. I'm going to confess!


	46. Trembling

Dear Diary,

I think I'm about to pass out.

I confessed. I was really scared, let me tell you. That's probably part of the reason I feel trembly.

She said that she liked me too, and that we should go on a date sometime. I was so happy!

Then I felt weak and queasy, so I just smiled and ran off. You know how when you're super nervous about something an it all turns out okay so you just... collapse? That happened to me there."

I hope not.


	47. More Guests (Ugh)

Dear Diary,

Today, I tried to build up my courage and go on a date with Lillie. Sadly, I was interrupted by the arrival of a new guest.

His name is Ciel, and I get the feeling he's the "Young Master."

He demanded to get Sebastian back, but OuranHero wouldn't let him leave. So, they caused a commotion, which ended with us having a new house guest. Like we don't have enough already.

I shall try again tomorrow.

_My WiFi's been down and I can barely breathe through my nose. Just thought you should know.  
_

_Maybe a few more than fifty...  
_


	48. Sick as a Dog

Dear Diary,

Interrupted again!

First of all, OuranHero's super sick. Not a pretty sight, believe me. She keeps whining about how she needs water, more blankets, less blankets, whatever. I can't go out when she won't stop complaining! I hope she doesn't get me sick.

Then, Duck's cousin CoolPort decided to come over after learning that Duck had disappeared. Antoinette wouldn't leave her alone and she kept snickering. When I asked, she said that the rumors were true and I really did look gay. The nerve!

Are those rumors still going around? I asked and she said that Fakir had told her. CoolPort's a bit weird, huh? Believing Fakir! The guy carries a duck around with him, for Pete's sake!

I've always wondered about that. Who's Pete? Anyway, I'll try again tomorrow. Third time's a charm!

_Sick as a dog, as my Grandpa would say._

_ And I look lovely. Even when I'm sick, I'm gorgeous. _

_ Okay, I might be lying._


	49. Finally!

Dear Diary,

OuranHero's still sick. She keeps complaining, saying stuff like "I need more water", and "Don't try to give me dirty river water!", and "Stop trying to feed me your nasty cooking!"

It's driving me insane.

On the bright side, Lillie asked me why I hadn't asked her on a date yet. When I explained, she said she would be happy having our date at my house, and we did!

Of course, I didn't cook. I can't cook. Lillie made some food. I felt a little bad, but it tasted great!

It was really fun! After that, not even OuranHero's constant complaining could made me angry!


	50. I Swear I'm Not Gay! Seriously!

Dear Diary,

Yes, diary, I'm still stuck taking care of OuranHero. Why doesn't she just get better? And I think I'm starting to catch it!

Lillie's been really happy lately. I suppose I have, too.

I confronted Fakir about the rumor. He told me that he had only told CoolPort the truth. I was really angry. I've become his friend, have I not? When I asked him, he looked taken aback. I think he might've blushed a little before he called me a moron. And I think Ahiru smiled at me. Ducks can't smile!

One more thing. I get the feeling OuranHero's up to something. I'm going to find out what it is!

_I feel like I'm about to get caught. Cough cough._

_ How do you guys feel about me doing Fakir's journal? Cough cough._


	51. With Love

Dear Femio,

Woof! Woof woof woof woof! Woof woof!

I love my master, yay! Yay, Femio, Yay! The food you give me tastes bad, but I love you so it's okay!

When you pet me this morning, I was so happy! Then, you left for school. I didn't think you would ever come back! But you did! Yay!

I'm sorry I pooped in the living room the other day, but Mary forgot to walk me!

I love this diary too~!

Love, Antoinette.

Just kidding. It's your butler, Charles. You left your diary out on the counter. If you keep doing things like this, your diary might end up on the internet or something.


	52. Failed!

Dear Diary,

I left my diary out on purpose to see if OuranHero picked it up! She didn't. That plan failed, but I know she's up to something!

On another note, Sebastian, Ciel, and Grell left today. OuranHero didn't want them to leave, but Ciel got a letter from the Queen, so he had to go.

Also, Lillie and I went on a real date. It was fun, and the food was great! I think I've got a keeper, as the cool kids are saying now-a-days. Is that how you spell that?

Well, I guess it doesn't matter. I've got to talk to Charles about the rude manner in which he wrote in my diary.

_So I was gone for the weekend, and when I came back I learned that my cat sat on my bed meowing while I was gone. He's sitting with me right now. True story._


	53. The End, Meanies!

Dear Diary,

I knew it! She's been posting my diary entries online ever since I arrived in Gold Crown Town! She calls it a "FanFic", and people read it! How embarrassing! Mary and Charles were right!

I bet you're wondering how I found out. I hid in my closet and left my diary out for the bait. She bought it and I read the whole thing, and the reviews!

I have forbidden her from posting any more. And yes, I've allowed her to post this one so that LauParisi and CoolPort and everyone else know that it's over! Done! Finished!

And Lillie and I lived happily ever after, just in case you were wondering.

_The five stages of writing a FanFic:_

_ 1) I just came up with a cool idea!_

_ 2) Super excited to write today's chapter!_

_ 3) ..._

_ 4) The odd feeling of sadness and relief when you finish it._

_ 5) What now?_

_ Well, look forward to "Fakir's Journal", coming soon to computers near you. I'll write it soon, so don't forget to read it!_


End file.
